The Stings of Toxic Masculinity

Story by Vanessa Onyeka-Ben.  Photo courtesy of Ebony. 

We’ve heard common phrases from a man when he looks upset. Some men would say “Man up!” or  “Guys can’t cry,'' so as not to show their emotions and deem themselves as ''weak”. Some would treat men who show femininity and who are LGBTQ+ as “not manly”. According to the American Psychological Association, there have been reports of young men taking masculinity way too far when they become misogynistic to both men and women. As a consequence of these societal gender norms, young men take out their rage on anything feminine. Most people would excuse this problematic behavior as boys will be boys instead of calling it what it really is.

According to a GQ Survey, “Toxic masculinity can be damaging towards young black men as it harms men’s mental health, and encourages violent behavior towards their loved ones. It’s been reported that 50% of men are uncomfortable seeing two gay men kissing, 37% of men feel uncomfortable crying at a wedding, and 43% of men have been involved in a physical altercation.”

Toxic masculinity has also tainted black celebrities. Recently, during the Oscars 2022, famous comedian Chris Rock joked about Will Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett.

In order to combat toxic masculinity, young black men can express themselves by showing compassion, encouraging their feelings with no shame, and respecting anyone regardless of who they are. Many social groups promote healthy masculinity. For instance, the group Black Masculinity Reimagined for Black Emotional And Mental Health Collective (BEAM) addresses mental health issues for young black men and helps them find ways to help the community.

I believe that young black men can come together with their loved ones and learn to be more comfortable with themselves and others. They can learn to be less petty and violent towards friends and learn to have healthy relations with their romantic partner. Black men who express their masculinity in a healthy way can improve self-esteem and satisfaction with life as well as decrease rates of mental health problems like depression as stated in the Green Hill Recovery.

We all can help raise awareness about toxic masculinity through social media (via Instagram, Youtube, etc;) as a way of reaching out to male friends and/or relatives. You can support organizations like BEAM to help young black have a better mindset in the future.

Vanessa Onyeka-Ben is a junior at Friendship Collegiate Academy.